Some would say that Masturbation is a sin. Others would go so far as to say that to do such a foul thing would bring about maladies like blindness or even the growth of unwanted hair on ones palms. I did a little digging on the subject to get to the bottom of these rumors and find out some facts. 

    It seems that the origins of the "sin" of masturbation goes back to *ahem* a smaller figure within the bible, Onan. He can be found in the Book of Genesis (chapter 38) and he was the second son of Judah. The story goes that his older brother, Er, died and left behind a childless widow named Tamar. As a result of the scenario that follows Onan died prematurely by God's will for being "wicked". Well, just what exactly was poor old Onan wicked for? 


    According to Wikipedia his wickedness was thus: "After Onan's brother Er died, his father Judah told him to fulfill his duty as a brother-in-law to Tamar, by giving her offspring. Centuries later, in the days of Moses, this practice was formulated into a law of a levirate marriage, where the brother of the deceased would provide offspring to the childless widow to preserve the family line. However, when Onan had sex with Tamar, he disregarded this principle when he withdrew before climax and "spilled his seed on the ground", since any child born would not legally be considered his heir. He disregarded the principle of a levirate union, so God killed him for being wicked"

    Apparently some early writers concentrated on the spilling of the seed and the non-procreational act of sexual activity as the pinpoint of this sin. It can in fact be argued, by one opinion expressed in the Talmud, that this is where the death penalty originated! 

    Christian apologist, Jerome, for example, exclaimed: "But I wonder why he the heretic Jovinianus set Judah and Tamar before us for an example, unless perchance even harlots give him pleasure; or Onan, who was slain because he grudged his brother his seed. Does he imagine that we approve of any sexual intercourse except for the procreation of children?"

     Furthermore, Clement of Alexandria, says: "Because of its divine institution for the propagation of man, the seed is not to be vainly ejaculated, nor is it to be damaged, nor is it to be wasted." "To have coitus other than to procreate children is to do injury to nature." (Injury to nature? Oh boy am I a sinner!)

    With respect to the tale of Onan some scholars maintain that "the story does not refer to masturbation, but to coitus interruptus, and that the Bible does not claim that masturbation would be sinful. This is the loophole I feel is important here. Masturbation = NOT sinful. 

    I dug even deeper.

    The modern day clinical view of masturbation does not, however, focus on the sinfulness of said action but rather the medical/psychological viewpoint. 

    Web MD says, when it asks the question, "is masturbation harmful?": "In general, the medical community considers masturbation to be a natural and harmless expression of sexuality for both men and women. It does not cause any physical injury or harm to the body, and can be performed in moderation throughout a person's lifetime as a part of normal sexual behavior. Some cultures and religions oppose masturbation or even label it as sinful. This can lead to guilt or shame about the behavior." (if you're blushing while reading this, this means YOU)  "... Some experts suggest that masturbation can actually improve sexual health and relationships. By exploring your own body through masturbation, you can determine what is erotically pleasing to you and can share this with your partner. Some partners use mutual masturbation to discover techniques for a more satisfying sexual relationship and to add to their mutual intimacy." 

    Even more, many studies have shown that regular to moderate masturbatorial practice may improve circulation, oxygenation of the cells of the body and may in fact protect against prostate cancer. 

    It is this authors conclusion that any prevailing negative feelings toward touching oneself harken back to the olden days where social structure and societal progress had a lot to do with procreation and family lineage maintenance. Though in THIS world it can be a safer form of sex, help in maintaining good health (both mental and physical) and just down right feel good! 

     Sadly, Onan the Masturbtarian was judged harshly for his behavior but I doubt you will be. If you HAVE experienced blindness, hairy palms or been struck by lighting, right after a moment of self satisfaction, please leave a comment below and share your experience. Otherwise I suggest you light a candle, open your mind and have some fun with yourself (guilt free) today! 



Ashley Collie
10/14/2012 11:00:28 am

I've presently lost the use of my hands, could you recommend some hot harlot service that could help me out? Much appreciate your pearls of wisdom, oh wise man!

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Lorelei Brewer
10/14/2012 02:32:47 pm

Adam, you're a genius. And a great story-teller on top of that. YOU HAVE A VOICE! Be like the King in "The King's Speech". You may think you cannot speak, but I think it is au contraire. Thanks for this!

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